My time is 15.
I am round cheeks
and naked with definition.
I don’t know how to hide under
the thick film that buries me later.
He is built with reddish, muddy hair.
He flares and expands in size,
greater than any other young torso.
I watch him hold hands with Grace
and Innocence, I listen to him
sing with rebellion and defiance.
He strums, and he strums me along
to the quiet, unexposed nights.
My time is 16,
and he has left. He has found liberty;
liberty, or abandon.
I have found a stuffy old pharmacy.
I sit on sidewalks eating tiny tablets, remembering
abandon from times: 8, 9, and 10; it is
sadly comfortable,
like I am with him.
3 months later, he brings back the East Coast.
His air is accented and tired,
thick for me to breathe.
He smells like 15, though, and he tastes like
the cigarette we shared on the night he left.
He brought himself and his guitar
just to me,
and he strings, and he strings me along
to the quiet, prudish night for two more weeks,
and then he is gone.
Now, I listen to the music,
to motorcycles drive by
my dark basement, with strings that
I will learn to play later.
Not yet, it is not time for me yet.
Right now, the film is building.
Right now, I am being defined.
Abandon has timed itself, lined perfectly
with my over-exposed skin.
I need him.
Now.
Later.
I need him.
I will,
and the world will never agree with me
and nobody believes me.
Great poem. I felt like that when I was 15 & 16. You touched a heartstring. Thanks 🙂
🙂 Thank YOU!
Beautiful 🙂
Beautifully evocative – a good write – a good read 🙂
Feeling most have felt…expressed well. 😉
I like how you kept up the momentum. Very descriptive and driven with emotion.
http://dpeacewrite211.wordpress.com
I remember those years, terrible years. I loved the flow of this.
Just about broke my heart with the narrative and the telling small details. A well-told story Maggie – I like this very much.
🙂 Thank you Hollyanne 🙂
It’s deep. And made me reflect on back when I was 15-16 (T-T which sadly, wasnt too long ago, ergo I am somewhat the same person.)
Before I forget! Congrats! http://93cedelle.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/one-lovely-blog-award/
~C
awww…thanks so much Cedelle, and you know what…No matter how close to the past you are, you are still different and changing and growing and I bet you are adorable and amazing and wonderful 🙂 Thank you so very much for the award sweetheart!
See what I have for you here 🙂 I’ve just bestowed upon you the “Sisterhood of World Bloggers Award” xoxo
http://sarahpotterwrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/04/blogging-award-number-three/
Hi. Thanks so much Sarah! I am going to go back to this page and read what you have to say. On my way out the door right now! But thanks so much for the award 🙂
your writing is so unique, and so are you. How have you been? Please email me at milaanhielo@yahoo.com. In order to further my sobriety I deleted my facebook. I hope you’re well! I have thought of you!
Hey Mila! I have been worried about you! I’ll email you!
Awesoommmmeeeeeeeeee!!!
you inspire me to try to write some poetry again 🙂 cheers!
yay! share with me when you do!
sure thing! don’t laugh if I suck, okay? hahaha :))