Inside Out

It starts with a doorknob,
a brass trombone turning out
mouse squeaks.
Tiny little mouse pellets
squeeze out of my pores.
I watch them drop to the ground.
Still, waiting for respect.

But, it started with a violent door.
Swinging away from force,
away from poison palmistry,
which, in fact, I read.
Which, in fact, I understood.
Or it was the mouse being
meek; naive.

I swing with doors now. After wooden frames
attack my conscious, I become sub.
I create layers of plumb paste up,
licking drywall,
growing asbestos,
swinging from summer to fall,
landing in winter igloo’s to be swept away
by spring baby sprigs.

Only the mice can bring me back.
Salt sweeping palms turning
yellow bellied
rats, wringing out gathered droppings
of last year.
Only the mice remind me
of stagnant feces laying around
my house,
my home.

And with a cold, slick doorknob,
I turn my insides
out.

Emily, The Tightrope Walker

Emily
walks with rotting feet

turned out
old
birthing hips
rock
with her jellyfish
spine

her path has become
as thin as her
starved bones

a
tight
borderline
between survival and
extinction

Emily
with her nervous order
steps
slight
whispering steps
onto
an aimless rope
an unambitious line

unstable
intimidated
weak
battered
uneasy
shrinking
Emily

walks