thick wind has come back
I’m under attack
take my heart back
black thunder
rips across the land
the sky’s dry
tri-tip
frying like I
fingertips split black
powder
sit back
venom drips down my throat
I spit back
a damned sky cracks
white lightning flash
backs
words clash so fast
blast from the past
a knife
and a shadow
a ghost
in the past tense
I can see through
me and you
quicksand
compact
a solid path
blood bath
peel me apart
I’m see through
deep deep breath
fuck you
It’s a white night
in a white gown,
lights are dancing in
black windowsills.
In an instant, I’m a crowd;
an infant fevering
for heavy music to sing.
My prison is cumulonimbus.
La la la la la.
The opera is inside of me.
Look inside, there’s
a phantom cradling a breeze.
I will become
a storm under white sheets.
Waiting to be swept up,
my weak field,
my broken wheat.
I see your
Tropic of Cancer
and how tumorous you can be
but I will be
better than the whiteness
that is surviving me.
At that time
I will sow the sound
of wind chimes
over lullabies.
Mozart will come sit with me
about your layers –
we won’t need them,
words don’t mean anything
after you have seen
how beautiful the whiteness
can be.
There is a leak in the Earth,
quietly letting mercy slip
out,
unnoticed.
Ashes sprout in Spring’s fresh
mouth – her lungs
blacken with ferocity,
a dark mother clouds the sky
of an innocent,
a soft snow lays silent,
begging the earth to warm;
a quick suicide.
Her arms cradle his delicate
voice, she is moon craters
and crackling fire embers,
an Earth of her own.
Heavy waves of blood crash through
a golden heart,
blue eyes sicken and he cries.
Her own waves say goodbye –
and the Earth opens one more time.
Darkness is the culprit that lingers behind
each slice of sweet Nectarine.
I am late.
I’ve been here before.
The other side of love.
The place that dissects the tongues
of former lovers
and turns them into layers.
love on
anger on
love on
hate on
jealousy on
love
on poison liquid every night before we stumble to sleep
with the darkness that caresses our feet
and convinces us that we love ourselves
to much to live on the other side.
I am late.
I’ve been here before
where I could feed you Mercury
while the sun sets on us forever.
I’d caress your feet and pray to the darkness
to take you far away
from my love.
I’m not so angry after all
this time, he smells like honey, hot roasting in the damp evening.
His carpet moves like the sea. I might be breathing, but he’s not.
His blood is worn out in deep veins, his secret time is up.
I am not angry this time, he positions himself for love and I watch,
jammed with battle fever, I am hot for war.
A soldier holds no fear, and there is no time to speak.
He engraves himself with yesterday and I wear him next to my heart.
I am not angry after all
this time. His blood dries up and my ache fades.
We are both permanent in a temporary place.
Boiling over, I am scraped off the bottom,
the block I belong on,
57th street where the crows sing.
Time travels around the city
-back and forth-
like it doesn’t matter
swooping through me each time.
I swing like a pendulum inside
my brain talks so fast
future and past, but all I see is the street
with a man parked under
his life.
I can’t tell if he’s dead or alive.
He might be another.
From somewhere I haven’t met
with guns and
drugs
and sex crawling up the walls
I’d kill him to tell it all
but he can’t.
His mouth stopped with his heart
a long time ago.
Time comes back again
and I am standing in the kitchen
wine pouring from the window sill,
put a pie out to dry
sugar, there’s no room for you and I
still want to be here.
The clock is purring like a new motor
ticking backward
and I’m watching my mother.
In X-ray, I can see right through her.
I see her fear and her
weak little shoulders – I am a caged, feral animal
ready for the world
My muscles grow stronger and stronger
I spit on the caged bars and twist them from
existence
now I’m standing in the corner
face to face with death in all its honour
a coffin, a casket full of
skeletons of the past
that merge my cells together
maybe we never were two
time splits here into thick poles
North and South I spend my dreams
in Antarctica
reaching for the coldest depth
I can find
freezing myself in time
where nothing happens,
nothing changes,
I’ve let life tick its last time by.
I can’t name you or call you by your name, at this time. You are streaked against the glass, your guts are spilling out.
Be brave and talk to yourself. You deserve to hear the truth as much as I do. Wait. No.
Let me tell you.
You’ve soiled yourself again like an elderly flower. I came to change you, but you won’t have me anywhere
outside of your bed.
Well my bed is too nervous to have you, so I take my voice back instead of shaming you. Wait. No. Let me hand it to you. She is braver than you.
Have you heard what they call her? Does she even have a name? It doesn’t matter. She is stronger than water and moves like a rock.
I bricked her, I blocked her,
but her head is tilted right to the life-sized bottle of wine at her side. At this time, I can’t call you, or name you, or love you, or hate you.
I answer only to the thin
glass dividing us,
that let’s nothing in.
I know you know what I mean…..
winds sail slow
arriving with difficulty
to confession
I speak against another
back turned
burned by sun light
I am familiar
with the dark –
with poison
with automatic disappointment
that my lips may
part for lava
but not for pardon
and I sail slow over
raging seas
arriving with difficulty
to confession
where familiar darkness
speaks mostly
about me
*WARNING* THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER FOR VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE/ASSAULT
In the morning he crawls across me
pasting me with his skin
his limp tongue travels around the clock
tick….tock
I watch the fan spin my blood to a thick boil
fists tied white
chest tight
open wide…..
spiders crawl in
feeding ammunition
his slow words lock the air
his hard wear
my pulled hair
I’m twisted around this prison
caged in a dark rhythm
until the deep alarm
the heartbeat
his slimy little army marches through deep flesh
he smiles
trying to disarm me
and I watch the fan spin around and around
and wait for the
spiders to crawl out.
maggiemaeijustsaythis 