first it was the legs that simply disappeared
then the arms took the hands and left in quiet prayer
a torso should be enough to hold a head high but the heart just isn’t there
the spine is still intact and continues to play along though it abnormally curves in fear
when the eyes align
I swear I’m alive
but the body isn’t here
It’s 4 in the morning,
it’s every morning quiet
and cold.
Where did the clock go?
Where did the familiar ticks and tocks of time go?
I am pounding from underneath layers of leather skin.
I am buried in a nerveless body
that does not know me.
All that hair is matted up in front of those
eyes.
I cannot see out of her eyes and
she won’t dare look inside for me,
and at 4 am no soul on Earth is laying
next to this body,
no hands are caressing her cold spine
or listening for the deep screams inside to
follow her exhaling breath.
She is a secret to them
as I am to her,
but they want her. They want to touch the
back of her head and wake her
from the dream,
they want to kiss her lips and be warmed
by a return of love and desire,
and some of them know about me,
yet, here it is, 4 in the morning,
it’s every morning quiet
and cold
and I am alone with a body,
trapped inside a body that does not Know
I exist, pounding on her tough skin,
screaming at strangers to wake her
from her dream
and resurface me,
but all they can touch is
her top most layer;
her skin,
her hair,
her lips,
the warmth of her lungs working hard,
the heat of her blood circulating
but no soul on Earth will ever reach far enough
to pull me out from
underneath.
maggiemaeijustsaythis 