It is always the moon whispering
with foul breath to me,
while stars drip like bad oil
paint, chips in a perfect, black sky.
The sun doesn’t say anything. It just sits
in its place, waiting for the day
it can finally rest.
I let the sun go, on its own,
but I try to join the night.
I try to wrap my body, like silk, around
time that sleeps,
that nods with my conversation
and smiles
in agreement.
We speak a language together, of
the deep ocean’s waves of regret
that cry into the dry sand of nostalgia,
creating mud of desire,
longing for its peaceful aquatic home
below the drama of tides;
of every shadow that
slices through jealous silence,
lonely crickets,
hollow frogs,
desperate bats free of their caves;
I will never be involved with a burning star –
I am part of the night.
I am a dead reflection of light
watching the world sleep.
Oooohhhhh…I like this alot!!!! Fantastic theme, beautifully expressed! đ
A very novel approach to darkness, stillness and night. Powerful lyrics pursue imagery and physics and the images are visible in dim moonlight. This extract is beautifully fluid and sensual:
…wrap my body, like silk, around time that sleeps…
I am fascinated by the piece and the unique angle you took with it. Well done.
love the imagery. You have amazing comparisons, “I wrap my body like silk, around time,” and comparing the stars to paint chips, damn good. Very original and love the hint of deeper commentary you are making on the narrator’s own life. The subtext is very well done.
the persona loves neither the “burning star” nor the “night”. This poem evokes an unsettling sense of extreme Loneliness, that the persona cannot decide between the “foul breath” of the “moon” or the silent “sun” that “doesn’t say anything”… But it seems like he or she has decided to be “part of the night” and “will never be involved with the burning star”… Perhaps because self-effacement could be the only way to assuage one’s helpless feeling of Loneliness… Perhaps it is only when “the world sleep(s)” can one’s darker side be fully awakened as the “burning star” exposes us and pride forbids us from letting our innermost feelings be exposed,for fear of judgements…?
đ I love the way you can analyze poetry. This is why I AM IN LOVE WITH POETRY!!! You and I would have a blast together taking apart poetry like you have just done. Very smart. Very accurate!!!
No way! You’re way better… I just wanted to show that i really appreciate your works. Thanks for the compliment though.(: keep writing!(:
I really love your pieces, by the way(:
I love that third stanza…from the dry sand of nostalgia to the bats free of their caves – wonderful emotional images. Thanks Maggie, be well~
Wow.
Absolutely beautiful. You’re very talented.
Maggie, this is good stuff. Love the images I see. Thanks!
wow. This is really good!
This is brilliant and haunting. That line “desperate bats freed of their caves” really hits me and resounds.