The Confession

It’s 4 in the morning,
it’s every morning quiet
and cold.

Where did the clock go?
Where did the familiar ticks and tocks of time go?
I am pounding from underneath layers of leather skin.
I am buried in a nerveless body
that does not know me.
All that hair is matted up in front of those
eyes.
I cannot see out of her eyes and
she won’t dare look inside for me,

and at 4 am no soul on Earth is laying
next to this body,
no hands are caressing her cold spine
or listening for the deep screams inside to
follow her exhaling breath.

She is a secret to them
as I am to her,

but they want her. They want to touch the
back of her head and wake her
from the dream,
they want to kiss her lips and be warmed
by a return of love and desire,
and some of them know about me,

yet, here it is, 4 in the morning,
it’s every morning quiet
and cold

and I am alone with a body,
trapped inside a body that does not Know
I exist, pounding on her tough skin,
screaming at strangers to wake her
from her dream
and resurface me,

but all they can touch is
her top most layer;
her skin,
her hair,
her lips,
the warmth of her lungs working hard,
the heat of her blood circulating

but no soul on Earth will ever reach far enough
to pull me out from
underneath.

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29 thoughts on “The Confession

  1. That hollowness, it has become something like a blanket that never quite keeps you warm, but just can’t let it go. It is wonderful Maggie.

  2. I love this. It’s not just the poem itself that is so hauntingly beautiful (“no hands are caressing her cold spine or listening for the deep screams inside to follow her exhaling breath”), but its title The Confession is so revealing–like you are sharing your secrets to the world. But you feel like no one is listening. Kind of like you are collapsing under the weight of yourself and you need someone to save you.

  3. I just love your way with words. You have such a gift!

    Have you heard of Kezban, who will be a contestant on American Idol this season? You can see her on YouTube. I think she has a similar raw emotion in her songs. Hope she wins.

  4. Hi there πŸ™‚ I wanted to stop by & tell you you have a lovely blog. I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve managed to read so far. Keep up the great work.

    Cheers! =D

  5. The imagery is profound. I kept seeing the narrator trapped inside an animal as opposed to a human and my mind danced around the idea of what animal it could be.

  6. I have been there, inside like that. A foreigner in my own skin. I’ve heard the breathing, craved the caress’ that never come. I feel the clock tick, and the slide of me back into her depths. — Thank you. I’ve never had words to express it. I always felt like it was just me; weird & out of touch. This is it, perfectly.

  7. Wow this stirred some old feelings I can relate with! It gives me gratitude for where I am today. Thank you & thanks for following my modestly followed blog πŸ˜‰

  8. Maggie, what a powerful expression of an innerself. The loneliness, the self deprication, the longing for acknowledgement and validation is so clearly painted for your readers. Lovely voice even in it’s deep sadness. I would have to agree with you, “no soul on Earth will ever reach far enough to pull me out from underneath.” There is “One” who is able to lift you. You might check out a little video I have found and used with my students called “A man fell in a hole”. I think you can find it on YouTube. If not try BlueFishTV.com Keep writing, you may be the one who lifts another out!!! Thank you for your precious words

  9. Imprisoned in a blessing, or inside a curse?
    Hard to tell, when writing in verse.
    But imprisoned it is, along with a task,
    And the Amontillado’s maybe, an empty cask.

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