walks with rotting feet
with her jellyfish
her path has become
as thin as her
between survival and
with her nervous order
an aimless rope
an unambitious line
Love the imagery in this – brilliant.
The lingering sadness and the imagery are breathtaking.
So , so sad.
This is tragic, although we have all known Emily and wished somehow to help her overcome through a good dose of healthy life.
I’m kinda superstitous (sp)… I got the chills reading this. Are you writing about who you have not met? I am Emily…….I write LOTS of poetry too.
I’m a little superstitious myself 😉 Great to meet you Emily! I hope you stick around and find me on FB… I like to chat it up on there!
Maggie Mae, you say what is difficult to say but needs to be heard, and make it poetry. 🙂 EllaDee
I’ve got to admit, I loved this poem up to the second to last stanza. The first two thirds of the poem is so beautiful and mysterious and abstract, and then you get to this list of words that are very literal. I’d say that the sense of fear, victimization, and survival come through in the first part of the poem without having to be explicit. Having given my unsolicited two cents, I have to say, I really like it.
Thank you Ben! The constructive criticism is very helpful to me as a writer…that is an impact. I hadn’t thought about the abstract vs. literal vocabulary. Thank you my friend. I will be watching that.
Very well put. It makes me think of a lose relative of mine who is walking a tightrope. I am a bit nervous she will fall off, but more hopeful she will realize she can walk a much wider welcoming road.
Very beautiful and moving.
What a punch.
Great poem 🙂
Your writing has such incredible passion and force, I am in awe of how you put words on a page. Kudos to you for creating what needs to be created, spoken, written, shared, for others to experience also.
The minimal use of language creates this feeling of claustrophobia and within that small atmosphere is an incredible tension that tugs along intensely and with recklessness the heart. Great!
Very powerful! I must say you have inspired me to revive my interest in poetry writing… its been a very long time!
…Her jellyfish spine, her nervous order.. two GREAT lines!! the rest of it is genius of course but those two visuals are really cool! You are a great poet.