You Think You Know Me? You’re Probably Right.

If you think you know me
or about me
or of me,
let me just tell you that
you are probably right.

I am smeared across pages
of different lives. I’ve been
blotted out, erased, ejected,
regretted,
embedded, let-go of,
set on fire,
strangled with wire
mangled to unrecognizable.

I’ve been sized up, down,
replaced, shamefaced….

graced with YOUR presence, haven’t I?

I’ve been lied to, laid on, pushed over
pushed around, pushed to the ground,
bound up by the useless,
wound up by the senseless.

I’ve been messy for a great length of time
I wait for the right time
and it always passes.
I’m days behind trying to
find myself, but I
hide well enough
that even I can’t seem to find myself.

I’ve blinded myself
with selfish ties, told myself lies to
handle my life – just to survive – revived
old times, but

times have changed
I have changed.
You think you know me?
You’re probably right.
For that time in my life.