It’s one big fight.
This life, it’s timeless.
Why do I exist?
What do I live for?
I blame myself for all the trouble.
Break up the walls and watch them crumble
just to later try to pull myself up out of the rubble.
I can’t remember a time when the weight
The load has always been tearing through
I open it up, expecting to fly
but I alwyas seem to fall back to the beginning;
feeling so small and helpless
underneath the pressure of it all.
I stand so tall! They think I rise like the sun.
I tell you, though, I’m setting deeper…
making friends with the reaper –
the only thing I trust in anymore.
Some days, I pray that he arrives, bare knuckles,
at my front door and rips me from this world.
At night, I curl up like a child, hiding from
the unknown shadows of my past.
Ritualistically, the morning always comes
and I am left, again, to be tested,
trying to glisten with the sun.
I’m the only one who can change this.
I’m determined, need to find my courage
and blow it up, like a portrait onto canvas.
I’m just not ready to dismiss my life
and pretend that I do not exist.