Extinction

It’s one big fight.
This life, it’s timeless.
Why do I exist?

What do I live for?
Pain?
I blame myself for all the trouble.
Break up the walls and watch them crumble
just to later try to pull myself up out of the rubble.

I can’t remember a time when the weight
wasn’t overbearing.
The load has always been tearing through
my soul.
I open it up, expecting to fly
but I alwyas seem to fall back to the beginning;
feeling so small and helpless
underneath the pressure of it all.

I stand so tall! They think I rise like the sun.
I tell you, though, I’m setting deeper…
making friends with the reaper –
the only thing I trust in anymore.

Some days, I pray that he arrives, bare knuckles,
at my front door and rips me from this world.
At night, I curl up like a child, hiding from
the unknown shadows of my past.

Ritualistically, the morning always comes
and I am left, again, to be tested,
trying to glisten with the sun.

I’m the only one who can change this.

I’m determined, need to find my courage
and blow it up, like a portrait onto canvas.
I’m just not ready to dismiss my life
and pretend that I do not exist.

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5 thoughts on “Extinction

  1. So far out of all the ones i’ve read of yours this one speaks to me more than the rest. Maybe its just that i am in that kinda period in my life, not sure. But i love this one. Your poetry is very soothing.

      1. It shows. And i am glad you wrote it. Your much better about putting it into words than o could ever do. I am not good with words, atleast i do not think i am. I feel strongly about this one as well, feels like you poured out your soul on what you were feeling at the time.

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